Chapter 2012...

Welcome 2012!!! You have arrived.... finally. I've been waiting for you so long. How was the trip so far? haha... Well, today is the beginning of a brand new year. Best wishes to my family and friends. May this auspicious new year bring joy, happiness, health and success.

It's the same old story every year... new year resolution.... new objectives.... new goals... bla, bla, bla.... I wonder what would my new year resolution be? Hmm... sounds pretty hard to tell coz each time I set a resolution, I'd never achieve it. Well, not to say I'm bad at keeping myself on track but usually as we tread we sometimes stray off the beaten track. That's what happen when you discover something interesting that you decides to take another road. That's good coz we have lots of surprises in life. You'll never know. Forest Gump once mentioned before " Life's like a box of chocolate. You'll never know what you're gonna get". As we get up each day, we look forward to the surprises and new things that await us. At the end of the day, you'll be amazed by how much discoveries are made through out the whole day and that made each day a beautiful day. Life is beautiful.

However. there are time when things don't work out as plan and that's when we need to take a step back and think should we continue treading. Or simple abandon it and take a new road? It's not an easy decision when you consider how much effort you've put into it and at the end of the day it's just not working. Come on... wake up and move on...

Well... I've decided to let fate take it course. Follow the flow of the river. Foolish it may sound but I feel that following the course of the road is more realistic. I can set high aims and hope on certain things but what if it doesn't work as plan? I've had a bad experience last year and I keep reminding myself not to repeat the same mistake. If it works, congrats... if it doesn't work, I've nothing to lose. But then again... if I don't have an aim in life, I'll never achieve anything. Ok, make it this way, lets make it more general. I'll achieve something this year. Be it big or small, it's still an achievement.

Neil Amstrong said " That's one small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind". So, my resolution? I want to make myself happy. I'll love myself more. Silly it may sound but hey, isn't it you who know yourself better? If you don't pamper yourself, who will? So, appreciate yourself more. I'll give myself a tap on the shoulder each time I accomplish something. I'll encourage the man in the mirror should I fall like a wounded soldier. We have ups and downs in life so tell yourself it's just a small hurdle. The show must go on even if the actor passes out as audience is still anticipating the conclusion, the grand finale.

So, the theme of 2012? Love yourself.... I will... and I'll never forget to tell my little heart "All is Well, All is Well...." after all, we need a little affirmation in life, don't we?

Happy New Year mate....

p/s: These pictures were taken in Nov 2011 during my trip to Melbourne with mum, bro and cecilia... I love Melbourne ^^

You Are Always on Our Mind

Esther Wong Peak Kuan
1986-2005

You Have Gone...
To Where Earth Turns Into Heaven
And A Golden Paradise You Did Find
Although We Are Happy
For Your Peacefulness
You Are Missed By Those You Left Behind
We Share Grief, Disbelief And Sorrow
Wondering “How Can This Be?”

Yet, We Are Thankful For The Memories
That Will Sustain Us For An Eternity

Dearest sis,

We miss you in so many ways,

We miss things you used to say,

Sweet memories will linger forever,

Time cannot change them... well, it's true,

And when old times we do recall,

It's when we miss you most of all,

Years that may come cannot sever,

Our loving remembrance of you.

In loving memory of our beloved sis,

Esther Wong Peak-Kuan,

Who went home with the Lord

on 20 April 2005,

Fondly remembered and never forgotten,

Amitabha Buddha

Welcome to Queensland, Australia..

I've not been blogging since May 2010 after a bitter incident. I didn't know how to continue blogging as my mind was totally blank. Suddenly I just ran out of ideas. I didn't know how to express myself anymore.

It was not until last week when a new friend of mine suggested that I should start blogging, with my new environment as a start that I begin to think " Yea, perhaps it's time to revive my blog'. So, here it is, brand new Jeremy who is currently reporting from his new niche aka new room in a foreign country.

Brisbane River

I'm no longer reporting under my bed in KL but rather reporting from Down Under, the Koala and Kangaroo land. Welcome to Australia.

Uniting Church

I arrived in Australia on the 11th of July 2010 after a memorable and poignant farewell conducted by my family members and friends. My parents were the mastermind behind the extravaganza. I should write more about that in my coming blog as there were indeed plenty of things which I would like to share with.

Brisbane City Hall

I'm currently staying in a peaceful and serene hill city called Toowoomba. This city is located approximately 1 1/2 hours drive from the river city Brisbane. Brisbane is the capital of Queensland, Australia.

Casino, formerly Treasury Building

On the first week when I arrived, I stayed with my ex coursemate aka Vincent Leong in Brisbane. Thanks to his hospitality for allowing me to bunk in at his lovely little house located at 115 Munro Street, St Lucia, Brisbane. Otherwise, I would have to sleep on the street, crawling like a shrimp during the cold winter night.

Story Bridge

Brisbane skyline at night

Thanks to Sing Yew for giving me a lift from Brisbane Airport to Vincent's house lest I would be lost, wandering around the kangaroo land like a loss soul, not knowing where to head to....

I know... but I'll wait for your final revelation, 2 years from now

It's an unforgettable Friday. Not only Malaysia failed to move to the final after being defeated by China, I've also finally got the answer which I've longed for from you.

It was an answer I expected you would tell. I've told you everything. You are kind enough to tell me yours though vaguely. I wish to ask more, I wish to know more. There are still some I've yet to find out... But perhaps it's good to let faith take its course for now. I respect your decision...

(Courtesy of Mun Li and Canon Cai)

There are many things I wish to tell from the bottom of my heart. I wish to write more but right now, perhaps I shall pause for a while. You told me that you'll reveal if I still wanna know, 2 years from now. I shall wait... coz it's the final revelation that will finally unveil everything which is left unanswered..


I shall wait... I shall...

I wish to tell you how I feel

I've been thinking a lot these days. I've tried to control my mind not to think but image of your face keeps flashing in my fragile mind, like projector playing in the cinema. It's hard not to catch a glimpse of your face in my picture album. I recall the time we dined, we watched movies, and we shopped for your new house stuffs together. I was indeed happy and delirious when I go out with you. The feelings are hard to describe. It was a mixture of excitement, fun, euphoria, spellbound, or whatever you call it. All I know is I always look forward to going out with you.

I've always thought that you would feel the same. However, lately I begin to ask myself if I've been sensing the wrong thing. I've always thought that you share the same feeling as I feel. Could I have been too sensitive that I may perhaps misunderstood? Perhaps all this while you only want to be friends? Perhaps I'm only playing my own psychology game. Perhaps it was a one side love all the while. Or perhaps you have never thought of me being your partner. Perhaps, there was nothing ever happen... Perhaps it was only me who has the feeling...

Too many perhaps... that I don't know if I should continue pursuing this. I sense that you are avoiding me alot these days. I must have landed you in an embarrassing situation all the time. If I've messed up you life a lot, shall I forget about my feelings?

It's really hard to forget and move on.... What should I do? I wish could I tell you how I feel...

Happy Mother's Day - We love you mum^^

This entry is dedicated to my beloved mum, Mdm. Chan Choy Hoong.

Dear mum,

I'm happy to be your son. You've never lamented no matter how tired you are. You are the source of my inspiration, the candle in the dark, shining your love in to our life. I've lost count how many times you sacrificed for the sake of our well being.


I still remember the darkest time in my life when I injured my back so badly that I could hardly walk for a year. Just when I thought the whole world was gone, you were there for me, with tender wings and you carried me, you lifted me up when I couldn't even walk at all. I felt ashamed for troubling you.


At the age of 25, I should be walking on my own feet then. I remembered the trouble you took to look after me during that hard times. You gave up your work just to suit my therapy schedule.I remembered every morning you drove me to Stadium for swimming, the exercise recommended by the physiotherapist.


You waited for me outside for an hour while I finished my swimming routine. After swimming, you sent me to hospital Ipoh for physiotherapy on alternate days. When you knew that there was a well known chiropractic in town, you decided to send me there for therapy.


I was angry at myself for giving you so much trouble, for not being able to walk, for creating so much hassle in your life, being a burden to the family at that time. But you told me it was ok, for you were happy as long as you see your children growing healthy and happy. "It doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as I see you recovering, the effort is worth taking."


Everyday you sent me to chiropractic therapy until my condition improved. It was a mental torture when I had slipped disk but you were always there to encourage me not to give up. Your soothing words were the most beautiful sound on earth. Like an angel, you extended you hands and guided me through the ordeal.

The sacrifices that you have made were uncountable. No amount of words could describe the love and care you've shown us. Your sacrifices are as vast as the ocean. Yet you have never asked for any rewards being a wonderful mother. All you ask from God is to see your children growing healthy and happy.

Such a selfless act can only be express by dedicated parents and for that, mum, I really thank God for giving me a chance to be your son. I thank God for having a wonderful mum like you.I know I may not be able to pay back for all the sacrifices that you've made but I'll love you forever. Thank you for being who you are and I really appreciate that. You are always my wonderful mum.

Happy Mother's Day.

I wish can tell... I can't fight this feeling any longer

I wish I can tell but I know it's not the right time to tell... I've tried my best to understand your situation and I wait. I wish I could understand you better, and open your heart. There are many things that I wish to tell. However, I've little confidence. What would you reply if I ask? Will you avoid me? I'm afraid you would. I don't hope so....

But I'm confused. What shall I do? Why is God fooling me? If only life can be much simpler...But if life were simple, I wouldn't have known the feelings, the unexplainable feelings which I wish to share with you...

I wish I know how you feel, at least I know if we share the same feelings... but if I ask, will you keep silence and avoid me? I don't know... if only God could tell me what I should do?

CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING (Reo Speedwagon)
I can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship,
Has grown stronger.

I only wish I had the strength to let it show.
I tell myself that I can't hold OUT forever.I said there is no reason for my fear.
Cause I feel so secure when we're together.
You give my life direction,
You make everything so clear.

And even as I WANDER,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the window,On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever THOUGHT I MIGHT.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.
I've been running round in circles in my mind.
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl,
Cause you take me to the places,That alone I'd never find.

And even as I wander,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the wind,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.