Deeply missed but never forgotten

Esther Wong Peak Kuan

1986~2005

We miss you in so many ways,

We miss things you used to say,

Sweet memories will linger forever,

Time cannot change them... well, it's true,

And when old times we do recall,

It's when we miss you most of all,

Years that may come cannot sever,

Our loving remembrance of you.

Dear sis,

8 years has passed, yet 

it's so hard to believe that you're really gone 

and to know that we'll no longer 

see your smiling face, 

or hear the sound of your laughter. 

You left so many memories, which'll never part. 

You'll always live deep inside our hearts. 

We're thankful that God graced us 

with someone as special as you. 

It's just hard to believe 

your life on earth is really through... 

You may be gone, 

but, 

you are always on our mind.

Deep in our heart,

there is always a place,

where your presence is felt,

forever...

In loving memory of late

Esther Wong Peak Kuan

who has returned to Lord

on the 20th April 2005

deeply missed but never forgotten...

*Amitabha Buddha*

Remember you... always...

Esther Wong Peak Kuan

1986-2005

If tears could build a stairway

and thoughts a memory lane

we'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again
No Farewell words were spoken
No time to say good-bye

You were gone before we knew it

And only God knows why.

Our heart still hurt
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know.
But now we know you want us

To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten
we pledge to you today
A hallowed place within our heart

Is where you'll always stay.

God knows why, with chilling touch,
Death gathers those we love so much,

And what now seems so strange and dim,
Will all be clear, when we meet again

someday... in the Pureland...

Dear sis,

It's been 7 years since you left us. We could still remember vividly how happy you were celebrating your 20th birthday. Everyone was there to see how beautiful you'd grown. You dressed so well, and you were excited when we sang you birthday song. You were delighted, basking under the lime light. I'm sure you had a great joy that night. Who would had ever thought, that a month later, you'd leave us... forever. I remembered sending you to the hospital on that fateful day for your usual blood transfusion.

It was just like any other ordinary day, nothing special except that you were looking forward to your coming Langkawi Thalassaemia conference scheduled at the end of April. We thought that would be a memorable family trip and everyone was so excited about the trip. You were going to give a talk during the conference. However, our dreams shattered when I received a call from the hospital on that fateful evening, 20th April 2005. Mum and I thought something must had gone amiss when we drove to the hospital to find out what the problem was. Mum was so worried and she prayed hard that you were alright, so was I. However, when we reached the hospital, the doctor broke the news that you'd left us... I dreaded to think of it again as it hurts whenever I picture you laying on the bed motionless.

However, I'm happy that you suffer no more now. We hope you've found peace and equanimity. And I know, what ever you are, what ever you are doing now, Lord Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are guiding you... always... Amitabha.

In loving memory of late

Esther Wong Peak Kuan

who has returned to Lord

on the 20th April 2005

deeply missed but never forgotten...

*Amitabha Buddha*

Ushering the Water Dragon 2012

It’s 22^nd Jan 2012. Today is the eve of Chinese New Year (CNY). We’ll send off Bunny tonighyand usher the energetic Water Dragon tonight. I wasn’t here in my hometown for CNY last year but this year, yea, I’m back… haha… I’ve been back for a week from Australia. Ever since then, mum and I have been running around town doing some last minutes shopping and preparation to welcome the new lunar year. It’s been tiring week but it’s fun. Doing shopping with mum enables me to know more about our root and family history, and of course, the latest happening (or should I say gossips) within our extended family members. Honestly, there’s no better way to chat mum than running errands with her.

I was shopping with mum in town and I came across this in an old shop. It’s the head of a dragon and it’s meant for dragon dance. The dragon head looks gorgeous, with its facial expression meticulously accentuated by the craftsmaster. Such art is hard to come by nowadays, not to mention the time and effort taken finish of this beautiful master piece. By the way, did I tell you that it’s hand-made? Dragon is an auspicious mytical creature in Chinese culture and dragon dance is performed during CNY or any other major celebrations in Chinese society.

Talking about CNY, how can one ever forget cookies? There are wide selections of cookies served in every house during CNY. From peanut cookie,love letter to pineapple tart, these are the must-have for the occasions and they happen to be my favourites too. So, these are some of the cookies we made this year.

We went to the wet market to get some food for reunion dinner tonight this morning. Man, the market was filled with heaps of people. While some may say walking in a wet market can be disgusting, with unbearable filthy air and fishy smell running into our nostrils, it revoked my childhood memories.

I’ve spent a decent amount of years growing up with the market and it sort of gave me sentiment nostalgia the moment I stepped into the market. From dry groceries to poultry products, you can find anything easily under the same roof. I remember the aunty who sells vegetables, the grandpa who sells pork, the uncle who sells fish, and not to forget the lovely grandma who sells Chinese pastries. It was like travelling back in time when I saw them. Well, of course, I see more wrinkles on their faces now.

Of all the things in Chinese culture, reunion dinner is something we treasure most in our heart. Regardless of where you are or what you do, reunion dinner is one thing not to be missed. It symbolises unity and union, and most importantly, it strengthens the family bond. It’s a gift having to eat with all the family members at the same table. Imagine how often we eat with all our family members? Perhaps not in the modern society when everyone is busy with their work. We work hard, we earn money in order to enjoy a better life but very often, we forget the very basic need of working: filling our stomach. Isn’t that what we are working for? For Chinese, a bowl of rice? While western society associates bread and butter with work, Chinese associates rice bowl with work. We eat rice, and that’s our staple diet. In fact, reunion dinner is a loose term as the exact translation should be Reunion Rice (Tuan Nian Fan). After working for a year, it’s time to sit and enjoy the fruit of our labour, the rice. And who would be the better person to share this fruit of labour with if not our family?

To my dear friends, I wish you a happy Chinese new year. May the water dragon bring you good health, success and happiness throughout the year. I’m hoping this to be a successful year for me. And my ultimate wish? I hope to see everyone dear to me healthy and happy always… Best wishes to my family…

Gong Xi Fah Chai

Chapter 2012...

Welcome 2012!!! You have arrived.... finally. I've been waiting for you so long. How was the trip so far? haha... Well, today is the beginning of a brand new year. Best wishes to my family and friends. May this auspicious new year bring joy, happiness, health and success.

It's the same old story every year... new year resolution.... new objectives.... new goals... bla, bla, bla.... I wonder what would my new year resolution be? Hmm... sounds pretty hard to tell coz each time I set a resolution, I'd never achieve it. Well, not to say I'm bad at keeping myself on track but usually as we tread we sometimes stray off the beaten track. That's what happen when you discover something interesting that you decides to take another road. That's good coz we have lots of surprises in life. You'll never know. Forest Gump once mentioned before " Life's like a box of chocolate. You'll never know what you're gonna get". As we get up each day, we look forward to the surprises and new things that await us. At the end of the day, you'll be amazed by how much discoveries are made through out the whole day and that made each day a beautiful day. Life is beautiful.

However. there are time when things don't work out as plan and that's when we need to take a step back and think should we continue treading. Or simple abandon it and take a new road? It's not an easy decision when you consider how much effort you've put into it and at the end of the day it's just not working. Come on... wake up and move on...

Well... I've decided to let fate take it course. Follow the flow of the river. Foolish it may sound but I feel that following the course of the road is more realistic. I can set high aims and hope on certain things but what if it doesn't work as plan? I've had a bad experience last year and I keep reminding myself not to repeat the same mistake. If it works, congrats... if it doesn't work, I've nothing to lose. But then again... if I don't have an aim in life, I'll never achieve anything. Ok, make it this way, lets make it more general. I'll achieve something this year. Be it big or small, it's still an achievement.

Neil Amstrong said " That's one small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind". So, my resolution? I want to make myself happy. I'll love myself more. Silly it may sound but hey, isn't it you who know yourself better? If you don't pamper yourself, who will? So, appreciate yourself more. I'll give myself a tap on the shoulder each time I accomplish something. I'll encourage the man in the mirror should I fall like a wounded soldier. We have ups and downs in life so tell yourself it's just a small hurdle. The show must go on even if the actor passes out as audience is still anticipating the conclusion, the grand finale.

So, the theme of 2012? Love yourself.... I will... and I'll never forget to tell my little heart "All is Well, All is Well...." after all, we need a little affirmation in life, don't we?

Happy New Year mate....

p/s: These pictures were taken in Nov 2011 during my trip to Melbourne with mum, bro and cecilia... I love Melbourne ^^

Happy Mother's Day - We love you mum^^

This entry is dedicated to my beloved mum, Mdm. Chan Choy Hoong.

Dear mum,

I'm happy to be your son. You've never lamented no matter how tired you are. You are the source of my inspiration, the candle in the dark, shining your love in to our life. I've lost count how many times you sacrificed for the sake of our well being.


I still remember the darkest time in my life when I injured my back so badly that I could hardly walk for a year. Just when I thought the whole world was gone, you were there for me, with tender wings and you carried me, you lifted me up when I couldn't even walk at all. I felt ashamed for troubling you.


At the age of 25, I should be walking on my own feet then. I remembered the trouble you took to look after me during that hard times. You gave up your work just to suit my therapy schedule.I remembered every morning you drove me to Stadium for swimming, the exercise recommended by the physiotherapist.


You waited for me outside for an hour while I finished my swimming routine. After swimming, you sent me to hospital Ipoh for physiotherapy on alternate days. When you knew that there was a well known chiropractic in town, you decided to send me there for therapy.


I was angry at myself for giving you so much trouble, for not being able to walk, for creating so much hassle in your life, being a burden to the family at that time. But you told me it was ok, for you were happy as long as you see your children growing healthy and happy. "It doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as I see you recovering, the effort is worth taking."


Everyday you sent me to chiropractic therapy until my condition improved. It was a mental torture when I had slipped disk but you were always there to encourage me not to give up. Your soothing words were the most beautiful sound on earth. Like an angel, you extended you hands and guided me through the ordeal.

The sacrifices that you have made were uncountable. No amount of words could describe the love and care you've shown us. Your sacrifices are as vast as the ocean. Yet you have never asked for any rewards being a wonderful mother. All you ask from God is to see your children growing healthy and happy.

Such a selfless act can only be express by dedicated parents and for that, mum, I really thank God for giving me a chance to be your son. I thank God for having a wonderful mum like you.I know I may not be able to pay back for all the sacrifices that you've made but I'll love you forever. Thank you for being who you are and I really appreciate that. You are always my wonderful mum.

Happy Mother's Day.

In Loving Memory of Esther Wong Peak Kuan

Esther Wong Peak Kuan
1986-2005

We Thought Of You Today

We thought of you today,

But that is nothing new.

We thought of you yesterday

And will tomorrow, too.

We think of you in silence
And make no outward show.
For what it meant to lose you
Only those who love you know.

Remembering you is easy,
We do it everyday.
It's the heartache of losing you
That will never go away.

Dear sister,

5 years has passed, yet
it's so hard to believe that you're really gone
and to know that we'll no longer
see your smiling face,
or hear the sound of your laughter.
You left so many memories, which'll never part.
You'll always live deep inside our hearts.
We're thankful that God graced us
with someone as special as you.
It's just hard to believe
your life on earth is really through...

In Loving Memory of Esther Wong Peak Kuan
Who Went Home To Be With The Lord
on 20April 2005
May The Lord Bless Her Soul
Amitabha Buddha